2015 “Renew”

A friend of mine chooses a word as her theme for the year. I adopted this tradition a few years ago. My word for 2015 was RENEW.

I love this word. It is defined as:

“resume (an activity) after an interruption.” [Thank you Google.]

My soul has been renewed. I “resumed” to my usual state. I feel like Heilala again. I feel WHOLE.

I feel like this world is filled with expectations and standards and should haves and could haves and what ifs and keyboard warriors. We live in an ever changing, continually evolving, trend following, explain-your-life-in-a-hashtag, world. Everyone is so opinionated and offended and it’s so easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of it all. For a few years, I was there too.

It’s hard being a young mom. (I am not so young anymore, but it was hard.) I am 26 years old and I have a 7, 5, and 4 year old. They are as crazy as they come. I live in a mostly white neighborhood (or state). I’m not like the other moms. I don’t dress up and look cute all the time. I don’t do cute little crafts with my kids. I don’t go and have brunch with the girls. I don’t take pictures of every cute darling moment. You can hear me from down the road if the windows are open. And yes, I will go bat sh*t crazy if you touch my child. And for the longest time I thought I was a “bad” mom because I didn’t “fit” the mold.

But there isn’t a mold. That’s the thing.

We create these stories that define our lives when in reality… We CREATE our reality. And it wasn’t until I embraced all that I am, that I realized I’m perfectly perfect for my children. For my husband. For my community. For my God. For my country. I fit the mold because the mold is MINE to create. And with this knowledge… this knowledge that I was born with but forgot, I have come full circle to the girl I once was; to become the woman I will be.

You see it isn’t about creating the perfect body. It isn’t about creating the right career and following the perfect path laid out before you.

It’s about accepting who YOU are and deciding where you WANT TO BE.

It’s about recognizing the beauty within you that no one else can offer but you. 

It’s about embracing the good, the bad, the ugly, the beautiful, whatever it is in your past, your present, and learning to create a better future.

It’s about “resuming” to your former state of perfection. For as a child you were made PERFECT. And the world told you who you were. The world defined you by their rules. The world tried to mold you into who it thought you were…

And here’s my invitation to you sweet friend…. DEFINE YOURSELF. Create your OWN mold.


How would they speak to others?

What kinds of words would they use?

Where would they go?

Who would they see?

What thoughts would they have?

What books would they read?

What movies would they watch?

What kind of people would they surround themselves with?

And I don’t mean for you to go buy a Mercedes Benz and spend all your money clubbing. No. It is a state of being not acting. It isn’t an action. Don’t go and do things. Be that person in your place. Ask yourself “what would they do, if I were them and they were in my shoes?” Literally be. And be still for a moment and embrace it. Let the universe recognize that is who you are. And the universe will conspire to change the world around you.

My theme for 2016 is ALIGN. I am aligning myself with my highest self, with my God, with my purpose, with my birthright. I have decided to accept the greatness within me and hold myself to that standard. I will allow 2016 to be my greatest year yet, because I am in the greatest place I could be. I am me.  And the beauty about that is that I am the only person who knows what that looks like. I get to define myself as I truly am.

I hope your year ends with love, joy, and family. And I hope your 2016 begins with greatness, fulfillment, and unconditional love.

Happy New Year!

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